Weak Eyed Golfer

Bob wearily trudged into his house and laid down his bag of golf clubs. "How was your game, darling?" asked his wife, Jane. "I was hitting the ball ok, but my eyesight's gotten so damn bad I couldn't see where the ball went." shrugged Bob.

"Well, you're 75 years old," said Jane. "You can't expect everything to be like it was. Why don't you take my brother Jimmy along?" "But he's 85 and he doesn't even play golf any more..." protested Bob. "But he's got perfect eyesight," Jane pointed out. "he can watch the ball for you."

So the next day Bob teed off with Jimmy looking on. He swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it, do you see it?" asked Bob in anticipation. "Yep!" Jimmy answered. "Well where is it?" exclaimed Bob, peering off into the distance.

"I forgot," said Jimmy.

Beauty of the Day

Sense of Direction?

Mike and Pauline were relating their holiday experiences to a friend.

'It sounds as if you had a great time in Nevada,' the friend observed. 'But didn't you tell me you were planning to visit Philadelphia?

'Well,' Mike interrupted, 'we changed our plans because, uh......oh........umm.'

Pauline spoke up, 'Come on, Mike, tell him the truth.'

Mike fell silent and Pauline continued, 'You know, it's just stupid. Mike simply won't ever ask for directions.'

Beauty of  the Day

Old age is not for sissies!!!

A 90-year-old couple were having problems with their memory, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

They explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were in good health, however, the best thing to do was to start writing things down and make notes to help them to remember things.

Later that night while watching television, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure honey." She then asked him, "Don't you think that you should write it down on a note so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I would also like some chocolate syrup on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with chocolate syrup." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

Now irritated, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then goes down stairs to the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"

Beauty of the Day

Twin Objects Of Desire

One day, a man noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts.

He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look. Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of the new neighbour’s house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door. "Excuse me," the man stammered, "But I couldn't help noticing how beautiful your wife is."

"Yeah? So?" his hulking neighbour replied.

"Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts." The burly gorilla is about to deck our poor man when his wife appears and stops him. She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments.

Finally, they return, and ask the man to step inside. "Okay," the husband says gruffly, "For ten thousand dollars, you can kiss my wife's tits."

At this, the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hang free at last. The man takes one in each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed. "Well, come on already, kiss 'em!" he growls.

"I can't," replies the man, still nuzzling away.

"Why not?" demands the husband, getting really angry now.

"I don't have ten thousand dollars!"

What is a C-String thong?

Beauty of the Day

Sprucing the Heck out of Friday

Ever since I started blah-blah-blahing about the mess I am making in the front yard, I have patiently worked little by little to transform roughly 1500 sq ft of former grassyland into mulchyland. Its been over a month now since I began the process of killing grass with plastic sheeting, pulling up said plastic (whilst holding my nose), cutting and layering cardboard over the dead sod, shoveling 10,000 lbs of topsoil (one shovel at a time) over that, and finally laying 15 cubic yards of mulch over that (that was me + a shovel too (I am 5lbs lighter and super strong now)).



That blue vintage iron bench would be my cherry on top. The bench is Demacopoulos family vintage, as in, I grew up with it on my back porch. Now its blue. And is inspiring lots of plant choices for the whole garden. A few things that I learned about this process is that you absolutley HAVE to avoid any slits or cracks in your cardboard or by golly those little crabgrass stinkers will creep right though. Though they are weakened though, and easy to pull, but I've gone back in and layered over various spots with more cardboard (take THAT, underground grass crime ring). And if you should run out of cardboard its really fun to go dumpster diving at your local recycling center. I'm not sure its legal. That's the fun part.



I'm sorry that so far I have not offered any real photos of the process. There were scenes of what looked like a cardboard quilt all soaking wet that were such a sight of girl-gone-green satisfaction that I was so close to changing completely out of my mudwoman gear to go and get my camera. But people. It has been some exhausting work. For someone who has been in the habit of running about 8-10 miles a week, I have skipped that all together for the past few weeks to save energy for the shovlin'. (How much more interesting can this post get, right?) Anyway, I knew that I would regret not having those mid progress photos. Sigh. I reserved today, my first full day alone in this house in what seems like a decade to buy a few "bones" ~ as in some small trees/shrubs to position here and there. I am barely scratching the surface of what I hope for all this mulchy happiness to be in a matter of a few years, but I am just really glad to be beginning the fun part. I bought a drooping Blue Spruce (above), two very boisterous Princess Lace Hydrangeas, and four very springy looking late blooming English Laurel bushes. Where's the rest of that garden piggy-bank? How did my whole garden budget get eaten alive by mulch, dirt, and a few prissy plants? Cuss. Anyway. This is to be a gradual process and I am saving most of the planting for late fall and next spring once the layers have marinated.



Now then.



In what-I-do-for-a-living news: I've created a needleworks page that has info about all that stuff, plus a slide show, plus a fancy downloadable look book. I also have the two new patterns sneaking a peek on my sewing page, which are (FINALLY) at the printers. Sheesh. Summer.



In what-the-heck news: I have wasted the past year worrying that my dear daughter could get mugged, lost on the subway, or worse (not really) blow all my money at TopShop, when I should have been worrying about natural disasters like Earthquakes and Hurricanes. In fact almost exactly this time last year I sent her out of the tornado ally of Tennessee to Brooklyn where she was just down the road from a tornado. Now this all could mean one of two things: either I need to get better and more specific about my worrying; or it doesn't pay to worry. Not sure yet. I will report back when I'm 108 years old.



Have a good weekend pals, Anna

Now she is going to regret it!

An old woman saved a Fairy's life. To repay this, the Fairy promised to grant the old woman three wishes.

For the first wish, the old lady asked to become young and beautiful.

Poof! She became young and beautiful.

For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world.

Poof! She was the richest woman in the world.

For the last wish, she pointed at the cat she had kept for years. She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. After all, he had been her best friend for so many years.

Poof! The Fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth.

The old lady and the Fairy said their goodbyes.

After the Fairy left, the handsome man (old cat) strolled over to her and asked, "Now aren't you sorry you had me neutered?"

Beautiful Women

Beauty of the Day

Birds and the Bees, 2007 Edition

Junior asks his dad, "Daddy, how was I born?"

His dad sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway! Well, you see, your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We snuck into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button.

Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS.

Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said:

"You've Got Male!"

Beauty of the Day

Crossing Paths & Visions

There are so many different ways that I want to share how to use the fabrics in this upcoming mini launch that it has nearly rendered me verbally paralyzed (should I just say mute there? speechless? stumped?- see I'm messed up). My heart is beating fast right now, because I am afraid that I'll forget to say something obvious or useful about them and you will be denied the glorious everythingness of this fabric. So lets go through this a little at a time from the beginning. These are what I call Loulouthi Needleworks. They are called Loulouthi because the imagery and the color palettes were derived from my Loulouthi collection. In essence they are no different than any printed cotton that I design, however they are a full 58" wide (wow Anna that's superwide! I know.) But they are called Needleworks, because the artwork printed on the cloth is comprised of tiny little X's.







This print is called Crossing Paths and it is essentially a series of borders stretching across from selvage to selvage, each row its own little cast of vignettes, small or large, traditional or splashy. There are 3 color ways of this print. I am sure that I am not the first to print x's on cloth, but when I conceived of the idea about a year ago, I wanted to be sure that the cloth stood on its own as a lovely print design for all kinds of patchwork and sewing, but also serve as a welcome invitation to thread a needle, find a hoop, and sit down to stitch up precious little artworks- for a baby collar, a yoke of a blouse or dress, a hem line, a framed artwork or a block in your next quilt. Or maybe an invitation to take on a lifeswork of a very expansive piece- a full coverlet entirely stitched, a table cloth, a bed skirt....combined with other printed fabrics, and so on. You get it. The above is just a digital copy of the print work.







This is me playing around with the same print. The size of the X's in this cloth compared to evenweave cloth for cross stitching -or something like Aida- are pretty large. I would say that perhaps if you know your cross stitching cloth numbers that these are about equivalent to 8ct, as in 8 X's per linear inch. You can stitch them up just like any cross stitch using either embroidery floss or Pearle cotton. So far I have only used Pearl cottons #8 for these, I just really like how they look and seem about the appropriate thickness without having to separate strands. Another little bonus to them being printed is there is no counting involved, so very little room for error. This makes it both pretty relaxing as well as awesome for kiddos to try out. Every time I come to one of the bolts to cut something off, I find them with some little square roughly cut away, snipped off by one of the girls- its like finding the boxes in your pantry mousechewed, or your hosta leaves caterpillarmunched...only sweeter. (Oh and p.s., a fine embroirdery needle will perform just fine for you, and only pre-wash them before stitching if your item will continue to be washed.)







This is the Visions print which I think of as a collage of all the different styles of cross stitch that I love, forming a field of possibilities to be cut apart, but still a beautiful soft design with vintage sensibilities to be left as a whole cloth for any kind of sewing. I should mention that while the X's are printed in one color or another, that I have stitched using pretty different shades than the X's right over them. In other words, you could alter your thread colors to a great degree from what is underneath and the thickness of your threads will conceal any distracting difference there may be. OH! And having a length of these fabrics is like getting not just fabric to use but also several cross stitch patterns that you could translate into other works, using these prints as a guide.







These are the 3 colorways of Visions framed up. Not stitched. What do you think I am, a factory?



I hope you enjoy these. Much more inspiration to share with them coming soon. They should be shipping to stores in just a few weeks. If you have any questions about using them for stitching I will answer in the comments section. I'm here to help. Not going anywhere. Really. I live here.



xo,Anna

Happy Little Old Man

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'

"Twenty-six!" he said.

Beautiful Women

Beauty of the Day

My wife is missing

The man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere!"

Beautiful Women

Beauty of the Day

A huge slip-up!!

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.

Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob." All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"

Jenny Love

Beauty of the Day

Baseball Vs. porn

A man watching a baseball game on TV kept switching channels to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple.

“I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,” he said to his wife.

“For heaven’s sake, watch them have sex,” his wife said. “You already know how to play baseball!”

10 Tips To Seduce A Man

Beauty of the Day

Suicide Blonde

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor.

"You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

Beauty of the Day

Handyman in the house?

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"

A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?"

Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?"

The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

Jenny Love

Beauty of the Day

little wings

In a matter of days what has been an extraordinarily good summer will officially change into something that I am going to, for now, optimistically categorize as just late summer. With the four middle children off to their schools since Monday, I have insisted that summer is not quite over yet. Juliana is home still, if only till this weekend, so I trick myself into believing that its not over. Roman will begin a school too, in his own little environment most days with other little ones .... which I am sure will be welcome to his nature, the little-one-of-many boy. I didn't quite wish summer away as I have in the past, exhausted with people, focused on making work work. And shockingly, everything worked out just fine. Every single moment here this warm stretch of 100 days or so, has been made up of the needs, wants, musings, cheer, cries, projects, messes, meals and laughter of so many people. This chorus of bodies has very often been overwhelming, with a business that doesn't seem to know how to slow down during the summer. But I do fear the absence of those bodies, although temporary in most respects, will have me missing the sort of mellifluous chaos, leaving me only to..... me. Who changes every day. And my work. Which changes along with me, and everyone else. Like stringy transparent tendrils swimming the dome of an octopus this way and that. Swish. Has it been a year since I drowned in this sorrow? It has. And those words have, each day, rewritten themselves into some other story. Not one of sadness. I don't know what exactly, but its a novel, and it moves, and grows with no definite stops or starts, and no ending. And while I felt as though I was leaving a cocoon on the other side of the country last year, this year, pardon the typical reference, I really do feel as though she'll be flying on her own there. And I feel lighter. And I imagine she might too. Knowing how this works now. That she goes. Only to come back. Just like Roman trusts that we leave him to be cared for, only for a short time, then we peek around the corner again, and he runs, keeping his eyes on our faces, tripping sometimes, with love and gratitude that we are back, belonging to him. And each of us is made whole because of the other. But gorgeous on our own..... currents of wind, or water, no threat to the strength of us.



photo taken by Juliana on a recent family hike

You Can Hurry Love

A young man and his pretty bride rush in to see their minister at the church.

"We want to get married, Reverend. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you please do a quick ceremony?"

The minister is amused. He marries the two love birds, takes his money but then hesitates and asks, "I know you two are in love, but I would be remiss not to caution you that it is not wise to marry in a hurry. Why are you two in such a rush anyway?"

Rushing his new wife out before him the young man runs into the street shouting over his shoulder "Because we are parked in a 'no standing' zone!"

Beauty of the Day

Lost Her Mind

Oh Gosh," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"

Beauty  of the Day

Today's Challenges

Roman challenge: occupying oneself while most siblings are off to school.

Mom challenge: see above.



Roman challenge: balancing a yardstick in the dump bed of a toy truck.

Mom challenge: resisting talking about things like physics with a 2 year old.



Roman challenge: wearing pants.

Mom challenge: finding pants. Roman's pants that is. I found mine.



Roman challenge: finding the nesting cube that fits head the best.

Mom challenge: deciding which family member to send the picture to first (subject line of "blockhead", natch).



Roman challenge: deciding on exact Anna Maria sticker placement for maximum awesomeness.

Mom challenge: trying not to sing at the top of my lungs with Dolly to "I will always love you". (Singing, in general, is a challenge for me.)



over and out, anna & roman

(And from the looks of the photo I would have to add that vacuuming is a challenge.)

Selling the Wife

A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened.

"I did a terrible thing," sniffed the drunk, "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort."

"That is awful," said the other guy, "And now that she is gone you want her back right?"

"Right!" said the drunk, still crying.

"You're sorry you sold her because you realised, too late, that you still loved her ,right?"

"Oh, No," said the drunk. I want her back because I'm thirsty again!"

Beauty of the Day

Love on the Lawn

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighbourhood.

Suddenly he realised there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house.

He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well-dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was.

"This is a brothel", replied the madam.

"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.

"Oh, we're having a yard sale today."

Beauty of the Day

What do you like in life?

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."

Beauty of the Day

Marriage Is About Celebration

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

“Let’s have a party, Ralph,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a pig.”

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. “Gee, Ethel,” he finally answered, “I don’t see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago.”

Beauty of the Day

Bold Strokes & Fine Stitches

It took me creating a new little embroidery- specifically for a table scarf- to tidy up my dining room, the whole house really, and share some pictures of it with you. I don't remember where I left off in showing the changes that I've made to the mess hall. I know you've likely seen it in its Raindrop blue stages here a few times. I also vaguely recall talking about how I wanted it to be cream colored by thanksgiving one year (didn't happen, it was all I could do to stuff a turkey that year)... and then I still picture these pictures of my boy on crutches sitting against cream walls. Anyway. The curtains are not new, but a patching of two fabrics that I created a few months ago, after deciding that no single fabric was doing the job for me. And I found myself hopping from the one turquoise fabric to another red fabric, deciding on neither, making something out of a whole other piece with some patchwork thingermagiggins across them only to take them down after a few weeks because I was not satisfied. Then back to the turquoise and the red, but together, making a new large striped print out of the two. And I love them. Did you get all that?







The table scarf. Here it is. Small potatoes really in such a large room. I grew up in a house where every table surface or buffet piece had some sort of a scarf, doily that was embroidered, cross-stitched, crocheted or otherwise that presumably protected the table top or gave a centerpiece or some other thing a soft place to rest. I have always loved, tiny details as you may have guessed, yet I am not a tiny, fussy type artist so much as I think in larger strokes of color and form. What I think I have learned on every canvas, whether its one of my fabric collections, a single blouse, a painting or a whole room in my house, is that its the marriage of the two- the bold and the fine- and the language happening between them that pleases me the very most. A balancing act, I guess. Something to react to from across the room, like a stage, as well as something to ponder upon closer inspection, like a walk in the woods.







I may not have every surface of my house clothed (though I have a drawer-full waiting to do the job) but I do always manage when spiffy-ing to place some sort of cloth in the center of our 10-ft farm table and place either fresh flowers of a bowl of fruit. It brings me joy. Its the crossbar on my t and the dot on my i. It just makes it home. In the hopes that some day all of my children will have their own drawer-full of these love layers, I was inspired to begin making my own. Continuing the tradition of works that color my memories of what a house it. But new.







This little Plaid Pods design was inspired by my favorite bouquets as well as my Buoyancy print which is on the reverse side. My friends at Sew4Home asked if I would share an embroidery design with their readers and I was more than happy to let that work and my personal musings come together in this little piece. They just posted the pattern pdf yesterday so go have a look if you're in search of some fine stitches to talk to you. I'll have it on my make page soon too.







I have lots of needleworks news and inspirations to share with you soon as the official launch of the goods is slated for September. I hope you enjoy making this if you choose to.







I also hope that my house will be this clean again someday.



xoxo, Anna

Eats Shoots And Leaves

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out.

The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks, "What do you want?" The bartender replies, "First you come in here, order food, kill my waiter, then try to go without paying for your food."

The panda bear turns around and says, "Hey! I'm a Panda. Look it up!" The bartender goes into the back room and looks up panda bear in the encyclopaedia, which read: "Panda: a bear-like marsupial originating in Asian regions. Known largely for its stark black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."

Beauty of the Day

Taking Action

Today I am proud to share my support of Action Kivu with you. If you read me here often, you know that I try not to bug you about causes too much, unless I really feel strongly about them. We- you and I- are so blessed to be a small part of the huge supportive, nurturing, and educational world of creative blogging, belonging to very many caring people. The work that Action Kivu does seeks to offer victims of violence in Eastern Congo a chance at just the tiniest bit of what you and I enjoy every day- learning a trade and getting an education. I won't go on about their work, their website does a better job explaining the intricacies of their struggle, and the urgency of their efforts.



But I will go on about my friend Alissa a bit. Alissa has done all of us a beautiful service, by bringing us a simple, and painless way to help Action Kivu. It isn't often that you have the chance to support a cause that is both vitally necessary and also transparent in its efforts. While giving to really a large organization for a worthy cause that you believe in is a good thing, I am sometimes left with a small nagging question about how my offering will be used.... and hope that its how I would choose for it to be used. There is a bit of surrender that has to happen- from your bank account, but also your will. That's why you can take not just pride but also joy in helping out this cause because it is a genuine need, an uncomplicated approach and shared with us through Alissa, who is as passionate about this program as she is vigorous in her appeal. She is a good egg.



Please, even if you are only able to give the smallest amount, visit this post on Alissa's blog to learn about how you can give, and at the same time put your name in the running for amazingly lovely prizes donated from some of Alissa's pals in craftyland. (After having thrown my own name in a few of those runnings, please know that I would only dilute my chances to win if I really cared about this cause!) And if you cannot offer anything now, please share with your family and friends.



Our own Sunshine & Flowers Baby Quilt is one of the possible prizes in the running. I am also bulking up the loot by offering a free pattern to every winner in each category. I am so honored to be a very small part of Alissa's good work. I am going to rest my thoughts on the hand stitches in that quilt- the ones made in a safe, loving environment- and dream that the same will be possible for every woman and child who is affected by the violence that we hope and pray will end.



with love and thanks, Anna Maria

Do not try to be clever!

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

Beauty of the Day

Foretaste

Juicy lips

Transient rest

Night bat

In a red hat

Flower fairy

Bacardi

Nice Shot

Otobaha

Necro

Seawitch

Lighter

The Dancer

Scremer

Sparklet