It's my birthday today. Have you ever heard an old person admire their own beauty when they look at younger photos of themselves as though its some other person?? The first time I ever heard this was from my grandmother. I remember thinking it didn't sound vain. I think what she was saying more was 'look at how young I was.' She had the space of time to forget about what she didn't like about herself at the age she was in the picture and just appreciate the memory of a young able body. I'm sure she, like a lot of us women, undoubtedly had her own internal list of attributes she was less than fond of. After 5 healthy children I think a lot more about what I've gained (not pounds, but happiness) and less about what physical attribute is slowly going out the door. Life seems a healthy distraction from self.
I'm forced every now and then to take a look at myself 2 dimensionally and I do notice laugh lines that are showing up when no ones laughing and various other subtle changes. I hope I live to see and appreciate these images as really young portraits of myself. Right now they're the oldest me I've seen. I hope I remember how fun it was to take them, that my mom bought me that dress, that today we buried Jeff's great Uncle Morris and that it was a really beautiful service.
I like 35. It feels really, really young and optimistic. Happy Birthday to all you other summer babies out there. Be well!
xo,AM