Best World Series Seats In The House

A man had front row tickets behind home plate at the World Series, when another guy comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "Nope", he replied, "that seat is empty".

"Whoah! That's crazy!", said the guy. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Series, the biggest day in all of baseball, and not even bother show up?"

Sadly, the man says, "Well... the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Series we've missed since we got married in 1964."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. What a shame. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

"Nah," the man replies as he shakes his head, "they're all at the funeral."

Beauty of the Day

In the White Room

white.room

It is getting pretty exciting up there in the attic/studio. Still don't know what to call this room. We already have a room called "studio" and saying something like "upper studio" sounds, uhh, kinda lame. Any ideas? I have a feeling we might just call it "upstairs" since this is really the only room we have that is up.

I have never paid anyone to paint for me in my whole entire life. But my builders have this groovy airless sprayer and they can cover the whole room in about 90min. There are so many, many nooks and crannies and shelves and drawers and trims and such that it would really take me an entire day to give the room one coat. So I decided to give in this time.

The color is called "Glass of Milk" and its one of Martha's colors for Home Depot. Have you guys used her cute little color swatch cards? They are a nice large swatch, and a narrow strip of the top and bottom both fold over the main color to reveal a color suggestion for ceiling and trim. Its really quite helpful and made me want to build a dollhouse out of them. Thanks girl. I'm using all the same color for walls and ceiling, just changing from eggshell to semi-gloss when it goes from drywall to wood. But I am taking Martha's (or some smart color person that works with Martha) suggestion for trim, but using it for the floor. It's called Macadamia Nut. Darker white, but still clean and nutty.

Phew. I think I will be moving in by the end of the week!!! I can hardly wait. In the grand scheme of things 6weeks isn't that long, but it feels like forever since we started.

More details and photos to come! xo, AM

The Irishman and the Pub

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.

The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look. "The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."
 Beauty of the Day

Play Your Age

A woman is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What horrible luck! What in the world should I do now?"

A gentleman next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"

He walks away. Moments later, he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!
Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"
Beauty of the Day


Talking Dog For Sale

It was a nice weekend, so John spent the morning driving around looking for yard sales. After just a few minutes looking, he spots a sign posted in someone's yard that reads "Talking Dog For Sale."

Interested in what this might actually be, John knocks on the door. The owner calmly tells him the dog is in the backyard. So he goes back there, and sees a German Shepherd sitting there next to a small doghouse.

"You talk?" John asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies. Much to John's surprise!

"Umm, yeah... so, what's the deal. How can you talk? What's your story?"

The Golden Retriever looks upward with the most sincere eyes and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

John is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that shit."

Beauty of the Day



Only Ever Tennessee Spring

on.my.walk
On my walk
on.my.lap
And on my lap.

I guess you could say this is my case for only visiting New York but living in Tennessee.

have a lovely weekend,
Anna
(who is sorta kinda reluctantly managing to barely like her phone camera. some.)

A Pirate Walks Into A Bar

So this pirate walks into a bar, his old favourite - although he hasn't been there in a while. Immediately the bartender notices him and says "Haven't seen ya in a while, where ya been? You look terrible!"

"Huh?" said the pirate, "What do you mean?"

"Oy, you've got a wooden leg! What happened?" said the bartender.

"Well," said the pirate, "Our ship was in a fierce sea battle, and me leg got hit by a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

"What about that hook? What happened to your hand?" again asked the bartender.

So the pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. Me hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook... but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One fine day at sea a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in me damn eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."

"It was me first day with the hook."

Beauty of the Day

New York By Phone

dear.new.york
Our Spring Break, while it might seem unfair, was entirely engineered to keep Roman at home and not traveling to and fro riding all means of mass transit. Jeff took Nicolas and Joseph to the city one Sunday and spent three days with them, doing slightly more boyish things, hanging with Juliana and he also coded some work meetings in. I stayed at home with the little girls and Roman, then once the big boys returned we headed out leaving Roman to have guy time for the rest of the week. I really, really don't think Roman minded not being forced into one seat or another for a week straight, which is sort of what vacation in a large city becomes for a wittle kid wike him. As we drove into the city on St. Patrick's Day, evening had just begun to fall, the Empire State building was lit with green lights, and Eleni was journaling the beginnings of our trip.
sistahhhs
After about 0.2 seconds of thought, the first night we decided not to fight the pub crowds in search of fish, chips and green beer, but instead we visited our favorite restaurant in Little Italy. Il Pallazzo won our hearts a few years ago, with such amazing food, attentive wait staff, and they also refer to Juliana and I (and I'm certain every other female on the planet) as "bella" whether they're saying you're welcome after you've sung a thank you to them, or asking you to sample the wine while they wait to finish a full pour (try the Acacia Pinot Noir), or saying goodnight. Bella is at the end of every phrase. Its cozy. Call me beauty in any language and I will pay you for food over and over again. So easily won by flattery, its ridiculous. Of course it also helps when every bite of everything on their menu melts in your mouth.
fashion.exhibit
The first full day, I snuck out of bed early to train out to NJ for a meeting while the girls, my mama, and my MIL slumbered in a little longer then had a day with Juliana to see the Pratt campus, have lunch and generally hop about Brooklyn. After meeting up with them at Penn Station we wandered around Chelsea, came upon FIT, and found our way into a free exhibit featuring Japanese fashion, Vivienne Westwood, and the His and Hers show. So, so cool. If you live nearby, you should go by and see it. Its not too big, but so entertaining, quite fascinating. Speaking of fashion, Juliana sported this adorable skirt that she made for one of her classes. She got an A. Good girl.
mmm.french
After a second meeting that I had in Chelsea (I know, I'm a worker bee), and a little trip to Purlsoho, we floated into Balthazar for an early dinner. My favorite French place in Soho. I go every chance I get. I feel like I'm getting boring going to the same places every time, but man, if someone put a poached egg on your salad, sliced crusty bread for you, served it with fresh butter, then gave you french fries that reminded you of your Yiayia's homemade potatoes fried in olive oil...wuhhhll....you'd keep going, right? Oui. Plus it gave Eleni and Isabela yet another chance to color on tables and have cherry Sprites.
subwow
The next day may well be ever referred to as our big day. Big, because we had 6 tickets in my bag for Mary Poppins on Broadway (which I thankfully didn't leave on the floor of a cab or anything stupid like that). And since it was a single route shot from where we were staying in Brooklyn over and up to 42nd St. we thought it might be very big and city like of us if we took the subway. I've only been on the subway a few times, never wanting to miss the views of the city from just riding around in the back of a cab. I've been on the trains tons, for longer stretches out to Long Island to see my brother, George which I also find mysteriously enjoyable as well. The subway is just so...ehmmm... economical and cool. Seen through the eyes of these two little girls who jumped back when the rush came around the corner and giggled as their hair blew about, it also became altogether exhilarating. I know those of you who do this every day are giggling to yourself right now, too.

As girl-in-a-perfect-world-fate would have it, the Hello Kitty store meows directly across the street from the New Amsterdam Theatre, so we had before and after the show fun there (see pink Sanrio shoppers). It was quite chilly and very windy on Saturday so we succumbed to seriously touristy, IheartNYC-hoodie shopping to deal with that. Adoring Eleni being swallowed by hers. The play was so incredibly fun. I think I might have cried with giddy happiness when they sang/danced Step in Time just because live performances of any genre, when they are totally and completely good, are just so moving. It is such pure entertainment that I wonder how I manage to be entertained otherwise. The girls, all of us, really, were just so happy and in love with it, even if money did buy it this time.
apart.together
That was a big day. We finished it off with a lovely meal of fish, rice, vegetables, and all manner of desserts at a Spanish/Italian place, Meson Sevilla, on W. 46th. Despite aching legs, full bellies, and show tunes wearily playing and replaying through our heads, the girls talked me into letting them stay at the hotel pool until it closed at 10pm. I had some embroidery with me and the pool had lounge chairs so that worked. We stayed at the Marriott Brooklyn Bridge, which as you might guess is just on the Brooklyn side of the bridge and a comfortable place sort of out of the noisy-ness that I am accustom to in Manhattan. But its really so easy to hop over the bridge and do whatevs. Renting a suite with 2 double beds, a fold out bed and adding a rollaway bed was the best idea I had for this trip. So much better than staying into two rooms at just about the same price. Every last one of us had some handiwork with us, so it was a cozy pleasure to sink into couches and stitch away the end of each day. And while the girls were all excited about having their own beds on opposite sides of the room, this is how I found them the last morning. They are my messy little munchkin pies.
juniors.brooklyn
And the final imprint of our trip was a fabulous midday breakfast at Juniors in Brooklyn on Sunday. They had me at Cheese Blintzes. And coffee, and hot chocolate, and french toast and buttery, salty biscuits. Da best.

And that my friends is what you can do in NYC without a Canon 40D.
Not so bad.
xoxo, AM

Tits

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair, eating a muffin while her dad gets his haircut.

The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin."

"I know," she replies. "I'm gonna get tits too."

Beauty of the Day

Adam and Eve

Adam was talking to God one day, and asked, "Why did you make Eve so pretty?"

God replied, "So you would love her".

Adam then asked, "Why did you make her such a good cook?"

God replied, "So that you would love her".

Adam asked, "Why does she have such a heavenly smile?"

God said "So you would love her".

Finally, Adam asked "Why did you make her so dumb?"

God replied, "So that she would love you!"

Beauty of the Day

Who needs a hug?

double.squeeze

I have good and bad and worse and makedo to report.

GOOD: I just spent the most wonderful 4 days in NYC with my two little girls, my mama, my MIL and my big college student girl for our Spring Breaks, which luckily coincided.

BAD: On the very first cab ride from LaGuardia to our hotel in Brooklyn, I left my camera bag (as in THE camera) in the cab.

WORSE: I did not get a receipt from the driver, and therefore have been placed in camera-loss purgatory as far as the city of NYC and the cab service is concerned with regards to ever finding it. (And yes I have taken every other measure possible to find it, thanks for asking....but maybe there's one I still haven't thought of, like looking on Craigslist to possibly buy it back. ha.)

MAKEDO: I took lots of pictures of our trip with my phone. This is not one of them. But this hug within a hug photo that I found on my desktop is making me feel like its all going to be just fine.

The NYC-vacation-by-phone (a very expensive vacation, considering pending camera replacement) is coming up tomorrow.

xoxo, Anna, who missed you and sends you a hug if ya need it.

Four business Dads

Once there were four business men. They were sitting on a bench in a hospital waiting room because their wives were having babies.

A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had 1 baby."

The man says, "What a coincidence! I'm the president of And1!"

The nurse goes away.

Then the nurse comes back and says to the second businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had twins!"

The man says, "What a coincidence! I'm the owner of the Minnesota Twins!"

The nurse goes away.

The nurse comes back and says to the third businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had triplets!"

The man says, "What a coincidence! I work for Triple Crown!"

The nurse goes away.

The nurse comes back and sees the fourth businessman alone on the bench crying.

She asks, "Why are you crying"?

The man replies, "I work for Seven Up"!!
Beauty of the Day

The pen is mightier

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.

The Russians use a pencil.


Beauty of the Day

Snapshots of Progress

studio.practice

Last week once the insulation was put into the attic Isabela was overcome by how suddenly the cave of a room felt like a real room. And I agreed. The sound changed in there altogether and felt much more like a space that we would actually inhabit. I had settled into my living room chair to do embroidery and she bounded in and said

"Come on, lets work up in the new studio!"

"No way, it's a mess up there, and there's no light," I laughed back.

"But Mom, its your new studio, and we can take a light and put blankets down over the dust," she pleaded.

"Oh, Belle, I just don't want to be in a mess, I'm too comfortable down here, sorry."

And then when I looked for her at bedtime, I found her and Eleni just as they are shown above. Staking their claim on the space while its still in this fort-like adventurous state. Her pure eagerness came as such a needful reminder of my good fortune in creating this space.

ready.for.drywall

The next morning, they hauled loads 12ft long drywall sheets up through the scaffold and through the open soon-to-be window hole after they had papered all the floors to protect them from the coming mess.

sunny.sweeper

And speaking of messes. We finally had some sun the other day but our window space it still mostly boarded up until the real windows are in place. This eager sweeper mumbles at the bottom of the stairs everyday for a chance to go up and act out the role of worker. He watches Geoff and Pat in action, and then tries to emulate their skilled labor. Mostly that means he stands near some wall or structure, pushes on it, and grunts to make it sound like really hard work. I love watching him figure out this big mess that we're making, and also getting to watch the details of putting it all back together.

scaffold.show

And today, after the long and boring, 10-day drywall process is finally complete, Pat watches for Geoff's signal to send up more oversize materials through the scaffold and window hole 3 stories up. The scaffold is set against the house right next to one of the current studio windows, and so every now and then my peripheral vision catches a man scaling the side of our house. (It keeps you dressed in your own home, that's for sure.) But Roman. Oh my goodness, if he sees them climb up, he gets so excited runs to the chair under the window, does his own scaling up to the back of the chair, and watches their every move as they unload all manner of wonders out the back of their work van.

light.at.the.end

This week should see all the built-in shelving go into place and at least one large window installed, and if we're really lucky, a power coat of primer paint on everything. And then, pals, we'll have another look. Okay?

Feeling united in sadness & prayer with so many souls across the world for Japan.
love, Anna Maria

Blind guy in a lesbian bar

A blind guy walks into a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to the counter and orders a drink. After a while, he says loudly to the girl behind the bar: - "Hey, do you want to hear a really good joke about blondes?"

Silence falls in the bar and in a deep, gravely voice the lesbian to his left says: - "Before you tell your joke, there's something you should know...The girl behind the bar is blonde, the girl by the door is blonde and I'm a 6 foot, 16 stone blonde with a black belt in karate. The girl to my left is blonde and she lifts weights. The girl to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still want to tell your joke?" - "Not if I'll have to explain it five times..."

Beauty of the Day

Free Drinks

An English man, Irishman and a Scottish man are sitting in a pub full of people.

The Englishman says, "The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free".

Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer.

The Scottish man says, "Yeah. That's quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free."

Again, the crowd in the pub gave a big cheer.

The Irish man says "Your two pubs are good, but they are not as good as the ones in Ireland. In Ireland you can buy one pint, get another 3 for free and then get taken into the backroom for a f*ck"

The English says "WOW! Did that happen to you?" and the Irishman replies "No, but it happened to my sister."

Beauty of the Day

Irresistible To Women

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."

The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want.

First, I want 1 billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Poof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand.

He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright, red, brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him.

He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." Poof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

Beauty for the Day

Latest Hollywood bollywood top news updates: Pics National Geographic Photos balloons house 's Wallpapers

Latest Hollywood bollywood top news updates: Pics National Geographic Photos balloons house 's Wallpapers

Where I stack beautiful things into pretty piles to wait for me

pretty.plans

Oh wow. Its been such a several days. Busy work, busy remodel, busy family, busy heart, lots going on. Looking at this image that I took a few days ago as I was making lofty hand work plans helps me find a little order and peace today.

I've been wanting to share more attic photos, though we are in the slow (boring) stages of drywall and its been so dark and rainy especially with the windows boarded up until the real windows get here (fingers crossed behind my back for tomorrow). I have piles of boxes everywhere that would normally be stored upstairs as well as lots of drawers and such to put together that will get built into the walls for storage up there. Yea, so, btw, one of many things that I've been able to figure out about doing built-in wall shelving, drawers, etc, underneath slanted ceiling lines is this: buy ready-made drawer or shelf units and have your contractor just set them into the underneath space then build out to look built in....it actually saves money and time. There are some places in the new studio where what I need is a little more custom-ish, so I'll get them to custom-ish-ize those (as in bigger bucks spent) but, man, I loved searching through the home office section of the Home Decorators site to find units. It was so oddly satisfying. I don't know how much fun Jeff has had putting them together so far, but..... well, time and money, time and money.

This'll make more sense later when I can show ya. Pinky promise. I'm all out of cute phalanges references.

Anyway, who else has succumbed to the vexing ways of the Liberty rainbow? This little stack of gorgeousness will be the first plop down of all plop downs once that room is ready to inhabit. I dream about getting to know it better with a cup of coffee and perhaps a cozy chair in my new, old, attic hideaway.

smooches, Anna

Kissing Claudia Schiffer

There was a Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales.

Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.

Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.

The Englishman was thinking: 'The Scottish guy must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English guy must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.'

And the Scotsman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap that English bastard again.”

Beauty of the Day


Oops!!!!

While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar.

To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place.

The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat, they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it.

Finally, the young bloke rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the bloke begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?"

"No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demands the bewildered bloke.

Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, "That's me before the operation."
Beauty of the Day

Road hog?

A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road.

A woman was driving down the same road.

As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, "Pig!"

The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, "Bitch!"

They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
Beauty of the Day

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