... I married my very best friend on a sweltering summer evening. It was such a beautiful day. It started with my clock radio actually waking me up to hear none other than "goin' to the chapel" playing bright and early. I can still remember smiling at the very idea of that being on the radio before waking up completely, rubbing my eyes and realizing that it really was on the radio. It was just a perfect an unexpected little detail that has been followed by so many others. Falling in love with my husband was the easiest thing I've ever done, only followed in ease by learning to love him more. We are still just getting to know one another in some ways, and in others, the familiarity is the most comforting place we have at the end of the day.
Those unexpected details unfold before our eyes and become our dialogue, our plot, with all of its twists and turns, filled with so many characters that all continue to write the story of us.
I walked out the front door the other day to head to the bottom of our long hill to get the mail. As soon as I had shut the door behind me, I heard it open again with three sets of giggles speeding up to reach my back. I didn't even turn around, but knew immediately who the tag-alongs were by the sound of their mischief. Once I was about 10 feet from the edge of the road, they all stopped at the crack in the driveway that I don't let them passed while I went a little more dangerously to the edge of the road to pull the mail out of the box.
Raising my head up from the pile in my hands after a quick scan of the contents, I watched them race each other back up the hill and was impressed with how well the littlest kept up. In that moment, walking slowly and watching them run quickly, our home in the background holding all the rest of the souls that complete our picture - I was struck - blown over - overwhelmed - at the fullness of it all. How we have become so much more than just us. Not just in numbers. In love. Heavy with blooms like the crepe myrtles that are laying on our front walk when they can't hold up all that beauty any more. It overwhelms them. It overwhelms me.
Over these 16 years there have been countless times when that weight feels more burdensome than beautiful and it causes us to scatter a bit. Last night on the way home from our first dinner alone since Roman was born, we were listening to some exotic, percussion-laden instrumental song, that I cannot remember the name of. I was trying to explain to Jeff how appealing it was to me because all the random, seemingly mismatched elements and beats were happening simultaneously and it gave you the feeling that any minute, it wouldn't work, and the rhythm would fall apart or miss. But it continued just beautifully despite the virtual chaos and all the various tempos happening at once.
And so do we.
Happy Anniversary sweetie, I love you more. xoa